Have you ever been at an intersection, minding your own business, when a honk startles you out of your daydream? You feel offended and upset. What you may forget is that the intrusion wasn’t anything personal. That driver behind you felt the stress and anxiousness you yourself have felt. She didn’t realize that this offense was nothing personal, just a simple case of not seeing the light turn green. 

It may be tempting to “get even” with other impatient drivers, perhaps with a glare as they zoom past you. On the other hand, when I’m the offending driver, I may offer a sorry smile. But the important thing is to understand the reason for the driver’s behavior.  Recall what it is to be stressed and in a hurry. Acknowledge this, and as much as you can, move out of the way and let the anxious driver – and all those negative thoughts – go on past.

 The waiter has eyes that jump to the side, and a smile that doesn’t reach beyond his teeth. Does he feel embarrassed for me?  I’m not embarrassed, I’m too busy fighting the angry tide. I push it aside.  My salad of blue cheese, walnut, and pear is tasty.  I note the fact there weren’t many vegan items to select – only this salad.  I don’t like eating here, I decide.  In fact, I don’t really want to be here at all.  And I wouldn’t be – if I wasn’t doing this for Lorraine. 

 It was Lorrine’s idea and she isn’t even here, I think. Couldn’t she have called me ahead?  Perhaps, I shouldn’t be doing something I’m not interested in.  The idea was good – but it hasn’t worked up to now.  If only I had said no! From now on, I tell myself,  I’m going to follow my instincts. I will listen to what I want.

 Doing for others is a trap.  I think I’m heading into the sunshine, then find myself in the darkness. That first ray of sun lures me with promises, but leads down a tunnel with a trap door spider lying in wait. 

 In all, it’s been a lunch well spent, because I’ve worked through my anger, found out what I was really angry about. I’ve made a choice that will lead me into the sunlight.